Some Things Never Change

Something tells me my boys would have gotten along just fine with Onfim and they'd have probably loved Onfim's world. Onfim would probably enjoy their visit, too, especially if they brought their sketchbooks and Crayolas.

HT: Melissa Wiley

Collide-e-scope

Little Boy: Mom, you know why it's called a kaleidoscope? Because all the things in it seem to "collide."

More Negotitations

Me: Zachary, would you help me clean the baseboards? I'll give you a treat and also tell Papa that you helped me when he comes home from work. He'd be very proud.

Zachary: OK, but can I smell the cleaner first?

Me: Sure.

(Zachary sniffs it and approves)

Zachary: Also, what exactly is it we're cleaning off the baseboards?

Me: Oh, it's dust and splashes from milk and stuff.

Zachary: Stuff? Like what kind of stuff? What would you say is the grossest thing that would be on there?

Me: Oh, I don't know, food I guess.

Zachary: Any mucus?

Me: No, I don't think so.

Zachary: OK, then.

Holy Cow

I had a brush with death today.

I was driving about 50 mph with two kids in tow this afternoon when a car from the oncoming traffic veered over the yellow lines into our lane. I saw it coming and had the wits to steer onto the shoulder as this car continued to veer, nearly hitting us, but passed behind. I watched in my rear view mirror as that car slammed into the guard rail and then was redirected sideways into traffic.

As I heard the crunch of metal hitting metal I yelped, "Holy cow!"

I turned to see my passengers, safely buckled in looking at me in disbelief and a bit confused. "Are you two OK?" I asked.

"Yes," Zachary replied a little put out, "but you made me fall over."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"And also," he added, "Holy cow is a bad word."

I was too concerned with my jello legs and racing heart to reply.

I called the police later and told them all that I saw. I can only imagine the driver of that vehicle fell unconscious for some reason. A heart attack? Stroke? I can only guess. The police were all about taking information and gave me none. I can only hope nobody was seriously hurt.

The thing about brushing death is that everybody alive acts like death isn't just at the door. But it is, people. It is RIGHT THERE. People just go on filling their shopping carts and making small talk. It's nuts, really. Eventually, the adrenaline rush passed and I was fine. We were all just fine. I pray everyone in that accident today will be just fine as well.

ibaby

Both And

Me: Wow, Nicholas, is that new toy great or what?

Nicholas: It's great AND what!

Five For Five

Sunday at the Park

Does tomorrow have to be Monday?

Making a Name For Himself

Nicholas: Why do we call him Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?

Me: Because that's his name.

Nicholas: It's a weird name. When I am a great composer, I want people to call me "Nicholas Justin Tinfoil Ding Dong Temple."

O, Brother

Me: (coming upon two boys locked together) What is this? Is this love? Are we fighting?

Simeon: I think it's love, mixed with a little violence.

Happy Birthday, Jacob!

So far, eight is great!

Happy Easter!

Twenty Questions...

...with a seven year old is very interesting.

When we all ran out of questions and hadn't guessed, he revealed the "mineral" he was thinking about: Play Dough.

House of Fools

#4: Goodmorning, Mom, I can't brush my teeth because there is soap on my toothbrush.

Me: Who did that?

#2: Probably the same person who gave Nicholas salt water when he asked for a drink this morning.

#1: I have a plan, too, but I need duct tape and a stick of butter.

#3: Sigh....I love April Fools Day.