Sunday, November 11, 2007

What I Have to Say

I've lost my voice. I feel like a silent observer to my own life. When the boys are wrestling in the back of the van, I have nothing to say. I hear giggles past bedtime and all I can do is walk in to the room and hope my stance carries the weight of stern reprimand.

I've been sending Nicholas with whispered instructions to go get so-and-so or tell so-and-so to come downstairs. It hasn't been very effective. I never knew, until now, how often that poor child is ignored.

It's been something of a silent retreat for me all weekend, in fact, and it hasn't been all bad. I've been frustrated here and there that someone doesn't understand what I need, but I haven't once been frustrated for having said the same thing five times.

I have wished that I could read to the children, that's true, but mostly I've just been surprised by how little my voice matters around here. Oh, I don't mean that I'm unimportant. No, no, no, I don't mean that all. What I mean is that it's more in the being here that I'm important than in the what I have to say.

9 comments:

Katie said...

Hope your voice returns soon. That could make for an interesting school week when the teacher can't talk. I think my children would enjoy that!

Ken Wills said...

I hope your voice get better soon.

I suspect what you have said in the past has lead to the the last sentence being true. Good job!

Alice Gunther said...

How true it is--being there for them is what matters.

I have lost my voice and found it to be almost a vacation from calling up the stairs and issuing orders.

scmom (Barbara) said...

Like Alice, I find it is a retreat of sorts to not use my voice for giving orders. I seem to lose my voice a lot -- it's what happens when I get a cold -- and I am always a little sad when it comes back. Too bad we can't acquire that little virus as needed.

Jennie C. said...

I once lost my voice, too, at Christmas! It was eye-opening, to be sure.

Butterfly said...

Hope you get your voice back soon. I get inflicted by that now and again too and my hubbie thinks it is very funny as I am not know to shut up!!

Hugs to you,
Leona

Jill said...

I've never lost my voice before, but I imagine it would be a good thing for me. ;)
Get well soon!

Beck said...

I hope you get your voice back soon - that's a bit scary, really.

momofboys said...

Love your blog, I've been checking in for awhile. I have 3 boys (6,4,2yrs) and I too have lost my voice, due to colds, at least twice I think. Strange how this little inconvenience is really a helpful and, dare I say, positive, experience for moms.