Dear Mother Nature,
I am not a squirrel, a raccoon, a bear, or a beaver. There really is no need to encourage me to "fatten up" for the winter. Should I find myself cold one December day, I could just make myself a hot cup of tea, put on a sweater, turn up the thermostat or any number of other things. I simply do not have to rely upon personal body fat for warmth or for survival.
So, when you encouraged me to buy all those snacks from Trader Joe's last weekend, you weren't doing me any favors. And when you just wouldn't stop reminding me that I hadn't yet consumed them all, you were actually ruining my chances of "fitness" which some have given us to understand is directly related to our survival.
I thought I finally had you in control late last night when I decided to go to bed, partly in order to make myself stop snacking (the early hibernation trick). But you are very clever, Mother Nature, and somehow you managed to arrange it so that my pajamas were in the dryer. In order to get to the dryer, I had to pass the pantry where snacks were waiting. And, of course, I had to pass them again on the way back.
Please consider carefully what I have said here, and perhaps you will see how unnecessary it is to make me desire baked pasta dishes, meatloaf, potatoes, stuffing, and gravy when the weather turns cooler. Maybe you won't make me think of fresh baked fruit pies, cookies, muffins and breads. Maybe roasted poultry and glazed vegetables will lose their appeal and you could arrange things so that all I will want is cold salads and carrot sticks all the year round.