..has been brewing in my head.
Should I write about dirt, my arch enemy, and how I think it has finally conquered me? Dirt, I don't like you. You are so dirty...and so everywhere. I DEEP CLEANED for two whole weeks (not long ago it seems) to get rid of you and yet you are back. You are so NOT welcome but you are everywhere-- on my walls, on my children, on my floors, on my chairs, on my children...on my WALLS! OK, maybe I won't write about that.
Should I write about homeschooling and the Ferris Wheel Effect that I thought only applied to discipline of the children and my own spiritual life? I put the effort in, I concentrate, I plan, I pray and we make progress...up...and...up...and...up we go, reaching summits we never thought possible. It is so beau-ti-ful up here!...Wheeeeeeeeee...down we go and there is no more effort. It all goes so smoothly until we hit some predestined bottom where the stars are aligned just so and EVERYONE cracks all at once. Then, it is all about climbing again, but this time the novelty has worn off. Creep...Discipline...Work...Effort...Pain. It will pay me back, I know. I've done this enough times.
Or should I write about boys and the new theory I've hatched about how they are "rule blind." I don't mean they are disobedient-- I don't think they are. I think they just have some sort of inborn sense of natural authority and they just don't get rules. Rules, they reason, are for mothers and for our dear mother's peace of mind. They earnestly try to respect that, but they don't understand it any more than I understand their need to ride bikes barefoot. Just a theory...
...or, should I write about how things are actually going very well here. So well, in fact, that amidst the dirt and struggle and seemingly unrewarded effort of daily life, I am still able to see a larger picture--a picture of progress and growth that can't be marred by the pain it takes to accomplish it.