Friday, October 12, 2007

Have You Ever Had A Conversation Like This?

The kids are in bed, the kitchen is clean, and you sit down to have a cup of tea with your spouse and catch up.

Me: How was your day?

Him: Good. I heard about something interesting...blah...blah...

Me: (In my head) It's the end of the day and I don't even feel tired. Life just doesn't feel like so much of an effort anymore. Art. We haven't been doing much art this year, but that's probably a good sign. We were doing an awful lot of art right about this time last year, probably because it was the only thing that we could do peacefully...Oh, wait, he's talking. I asked him how his day was and I should listen to the answer. OK, I'm listening...

Him: Blah...and the whole system is in the Roman alphabet. I mean, what are the Chinese supposed to do?

Me: Right. What do they do?

Him: Well, now they are going to develop ten new...blah..blah...

Me: (In my head) You know what else I haven't been putting as much time into besides art is baking. And dinners. We've been eating rather poorly. No, that's not true. I've just found some simpler ways to cook. That doesn't necessarily mean the food is unhealthy. Funny how I associate convenience with lack of nutrition... Hey, you said you would listen and you're not listening. Listen to him would you?

Him: blah...blah...and you see what a huge opportunity this will be for large law firms?

Me: Oh yea, I see....Um...Wow.

You have had a conversation like this one? Well, I haven't.

I always listen to every word you say, Honey. I really am listening, just please don't quiz me on this one when you get home. I'm sure I'll be too tired to remember.


Kristen Laurence said...

Ha! This is much too familiar.

Tomorrow we'll be out of town, but wish our friend and your husband a wonderful day! Cheers, Jeremy! :)

Stephanie said...

Suzanne, I have to comment on this one. Did you know that your attention to, efforts toward, and enjoyment of your husband is one of the most blissful things for me about reading your blog?

We homeschooled for years, and now the kids are gone, and here we are. Me and him. Sipping tea at the end of the day, trying to focus on the conversation, still building a life together. Me and him. The guy I married, who married me.

And I'm starting to see that I can break the homeschooling communities into two obvious groups. There are the moms who delight in their jobs as moms who were wives first, are wives still, and whose lives are being built in partnership with those men who mean home to them.

Then there are the women who rarely even mention their husbands, whose husbands don't factor at all into their plans or into their days or their dreams for the home, or at times even their vacations where the kids are ... but not the dad. The dad is the house - needed but replaceable.

I love that your husband means home to you. Your sons will certainly not accept anything less from their marriages someday.

nutmeg said...


um, I mean... no. I have no idea what you are talking about.


ps. I was actually trying to remember something my DH said last night about our realtor, on vacation, day #4 of our option period.... wha???


Diane said...

No. Never. Sorry.


Great observation, Stephanie.

Spinneretta said...


Oh boy, yeah I have.
And the ending is always just enough to wonder if I missed something interesting!

mopsy, who resolves to listen better said...

Oh, yes. Except my husband talks about computer servers and software. He goes into very great technical detail.

I forget he's talking.

He forgets who he is talking to.

But we are smoochy, head-over-heels in love after all these years. He's my best friend.

Matilda said...

Yes. Like Mopsy server details and processed lots make my eyes glaze over. But I adore him!

Um... could you at some time go into more specifics about this simpler way of cooking? Thanks!

Monica said...

Oh, man, this happened to me the worst a long time ago, before I was married, and the person was my boss. It was a small company with 5 employees and I was taking minutes at our weekly meeting. I fessed up to one of my fellow employees that I couldn't remember a *thing* our boss had said (because I needed to do minutes, of course), and SHE COULDN'T EITHER. In fact, it turned out that we'd ALL tuned him out. Hmmm...

Muddy Mama said...

I have actually said to my very patient husband, "I'm sorry, Honey. Will you say that again? I heard you the first time and I know I said yes to whatever it was...and I know it was only three seconds ago, but I have already forgoten what it was I said yes to...and I just know if I don't ask you to repeat your question rightthisverysecond I will later look at you like you are crazy when you tell me it is time to do...whatever it was."

Cheryl said...

You are a riot! I may have had one of those... My dh and I joke about how we sometimes politely take turns talking to each other about our 2 completely different subjects.

Goslyn said...

Nope, Suzanne, have NO idea what you could be talking about! This never happens to me, especially not around 1 a.m. when my amazing husband arrives home from writing a hot story for the paper and just has to tell me all about it. Never.

laura said...


annemcd said...

I try, I really do! But my husband speaks like I understand the jargon from his work, and I nod at all the appropriate times, knowing full well that when I scrub floors and he scrubs files, we're doing COMPLETELY different things, but if you ask me what he does for a living, all you'll get is a blank stare. We've told the kids that daddy moves numbers all day. That's pretty much how I understand it, too! :)

Jamie said...

I am SO late coming to this, but have to say you are SO funny and SO truthful!! Yes, this has happened and then I wonder how often it happens when I try to tell him about my day, what is HE thinking about?