Jacob: Can we have our ice cream, now?
Me: Nobody said we were having ice cream tonight.
Jacob: Papa said we would.
Me: Did you, dear? The boys say you told them they could have ice cream tonight.
Cruel, Cruel Husband: No, no, no, I didn't say that. I said if they didn't eat well they couldn't have ice cream. I didn't say they could have ice cream if they ate well. If they eat well they may or may not get anything.