Thursday, July 26, 2007

Confessions of a Spam Reader

Ok, I don't really read my spam, but I do try to scan it because occasionally someone I know gets trapped in there. And today I read this message just for the wonderful ridiculousness of it.

Soly Graves writes:

Dear you,

Good mood to you. I understand that I was looking for you all my life. It became evident when
I came here in search of my second half. It's unbelievable, but it's truth!
Do you agree with me that all people are so different and in the storm of
daily routine, it is so hard to make a right choice, to find your true love?
But hope is always alive in the heart and in spite of everything, you find
your happiness.
I know that my happiness is You, You are a man who will be able to make me
You may ask me how I do know. The answer is very simple.
Just look into your single heart which is missing love and care, and you
will understand everything.

If it weren't for the line where Soly calls me a man, I just might have fallen for this and clicked on the link that would surely have led me to happiness.


Cheryl M. said...

...."Just look into your single heart"....hmmmm, do some people have doubles or triples???? HA HA! Suzanne, where do these people find you??? HA!

Johane said...

LOL... Reading this I'm wondering what translation program this person used...

I have read really bad translations in my time (thank goodness I can read more than one language), the funniest one was for a snakes and ladder game. The french translation read (obviously translated correctly to english) "Take the dead person and roll it." Honest to goodness! I was so stunned by the instructions I had to read them in english to figure out what had lead this child friendly game to suddenly become morbid. The english translation read "Take the die and roll it." "Prenez le mort et roulez-le." It wasn't a good translation either, but I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life...

ryan m. said...

That's beautiful. You're a lucky man.

Suzanne Temple said...

Ha! All of you have me laughing here.

Johane, my husband really liked the roll the dead guy line. That's good. Very good.

And thanks Ryan, good mood to you.

Beck said...

Spam is some of the best unintentional comedy out there. I'm forever forwarding them onto my husband at work. My favorite line today was:
"There’s nothing better than slipping into a bikini..."
Does one actually slip into bikinis now?

Kristen Laurence said...

I was just able to calm down after more than 5 minutes of belly-cramping laughter with tears streaming down my face and Patrick, who caught the contagious roar, sitting next to me.

And then I read Johane's comment....

This has been a great night. Thanks, ladies!

Johane said...

Keep in mind... they kept that translation was for a kids game, and they kept using various forms of die. "The next player takes the dying..." "Once the dead is rolled..." Somehow, snakes and ladders seemed more dangerous that day.

All the while I'M dying laughing trying to imagine my 4 girls rolling some anonymous corpse! I still laugh today.

It was my pleasure to share a good laugh. :D

Kimberlee said...

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam-ditty Spam, oh wonderful spam, spam, spam!

Meredith said...

What a hoot. Why am I the only one who gets x-rated spam??? If only I were a single-hearted man, LOL!!!

mopsy said...

"Dear you,"